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4 Coping Strategies for Angry and Anxious Grievers

There are emotions that were not allowed in my family growing up. One was fear, the other was anger. For much of my early life and into adulthood, my family’s filter was “Be tough and resilient.” My mother would tell us, “You have no right to be angry.” Much like a person is told to look through rose-colored glasses, my father was always telling his two daughters to “toughen up.” We believed this until we were challenged as adults in the workplace and our own families. Fast forward several decades later, I do not believe anyone can escape the feelings of anger and fear…at some point, we all become faced with the challenge of what to do with those feelings. But what do I do with that anger and fear when I find myself, after my mother’s passing, angry and fearful? First, I have to ask myself, why am I so angry? Do I have an unresolved grudge? No. Someone once told me that anger is not so much a feeling, rather it is your expectations not being met. It usually masks another feeling like fear or sadness. It would stand to reason that I am feeling angry because my whole world looks different since she died. That is scary for me. And holiday time makes life even more strange. Nothing we do is the same; everything is either different or the absence of her